A chat with Mal

Mal: the lady that sits next to me has been sick for over a week


T: mono?


Mal: like a 'i will cough the phlegm out of my throat all day long at 15 second intervals to see how long it takes you to rip out your hair' sickness
I complained about her, and now everyone else hates me for bringing the noise to their attention
que sera, motha effers


T: haha
who did you complain to?

Mal: my boss


T: this is a blog post fyi
what did you boss say?
how did you pose this complaint
?
so many questions


Mal: I said, "If Joyce keeps coughing up phlegm all day, I will make a noise like I am barking"


T: and trying not to laugh out loud


Mal: each time she makes that noise, I make mine


T: and her response?


Mal: my boss? He said, 'We will move Typhoid Betty to another spot....just bear with it a little longer'
it would be one thing if she was healthy at SOME point in her life


T: does your throat get scratchy from barking so much?


Mal: but since her breakfast is something called 'Pancake & Sausage on a Stick', and her lunch is usually a smorgasbord from a vending machine, and the only water she drinks is sweat that has dripped off her upper lip, I don't think she will ever get better
(seriously--there is a product called Pancake & Sausage on a stick, and it is like a corn dog for breakfast)


T: where would you get that?
like she brings it from home?


Mal: yes
i hate her


T: is her name really betty?


Mal: with all my blackened heart
her name is not really Betty


T: good


Mal: but Typhoid Betty sounds good
so that's what we call her


T: then I would feel bad for her
who do you hate more? Betty or Candice the Clown


Mal: BETTY
Candace the Clown can make any animal!